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Wreck this journal!

November 22, 2014

I’m a perfectionist. I’m also creative. That’s a terrible combination, I can tell you. Every time I’d like to start a creative project, I either won’t do it, or I won’t finish it, just because I’m afraid of it not becoming perfect. This is the reason I never draw or paint, I stopped writing songs after my first one, I stopped writing altogether for years, my furniture just waits forever to be refurbished, I own a guitar for 15 years but I can’t play it and I have a huge collection of scrapbook items but no scrapbooks. When I was a little girl, I even had sticker books full of stickers, just because I didn’t dare put them anywhere. I was afraid I might not choose the perfect place for them and I would regret my choice forever. Yes, it’s that bad.

A whole bunch of goals on my list suddenly make a lot of sense, don’t they? Today, I want to talk about one of them: nr. 34. It states: Own a Wreck this journal and complete all the tasks in the book.

Tanya's 101 - "My Wreck this Journal, newly bought. This is a great book, designed to use your hidden creative talents and stop being a perfectionist."

It’s the perfect goal to get rid of my self-destructive perfectionism!  The book, created by Keri Smith, is full of assignments that let you destroy the book a little bit each time. You can do all the things you’d normally never do with a book: throw it, step on it, doodle in it, spill your drink over it, crack the spine and lots more. Of course, if you interpret the assignments in a creative way, you can actually make each page look stunning! Destruction suddenly gets a whole other meaning.

I decided this was the perfect book to get rid of my perfectionism! Okay, not to get rid of it entirely, but just to temper it to a healthy degree. When I knew I was going to put this book on my list, I got so excited that I couldn’t wait to start. I rushed to the store, bought the book and immediately started wrecking it! So let me show you some pages I finished so far!

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Close the journal. Write/scribble something on the edges.

The first thing I did was write something on the edges of the book. The quote is a message to myself. It will make me remember the power of my imagination every time I see the book!

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Close the Journal. Write/scribble something on the edges.  "Perfection is always there. Just use your creativity."

Notice the folded corner of the cover? I was so tempted to do this every time I saw the book. So I decided I just would! I wrote ‘temptation’ on the inside of the corner to remind myself why I did it. And since I disfigured the cover now, I reckoned I might just as well think of more ways to wreck the book and write them down on the appropriate page. I even mean to execute all these things, because there are still some pages left blank in the book!

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Write a list of more ways to wreck this journal.

Another assignment in the book is: Collect dead bugs here. That’s probably one of the most disgusting tasks in the entire journal. I thought I would try and find a loop hole by interpret this in a creative way. But then I saw a mosquito in the staircase, while I was holding the book. This was too good to be true. An evil tiny monster was waiting to be killed and I carried the journal that told me too use it as a murder weapon. So I did that. And I did it again. And again. Until my page was full of gruesome dead bugs. I decided the minuscule beasts at least deserved a eulogy after the terrible crime I committed on them. This is the result:

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal. Collect dead bugs here.

Then I decided to be colorful. I drew circles. A lot of circles. I had actually planned for this to be the background of the page and to cover it with cut out circles of beautiful paper. I was so happy with the result however, that I thought it would be a waste to cover it up. Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Fill this page with circles.

After I made the circles, I flipped to a page that said: Write carelessly now. So I did. And I did it bubbly. I never knew I could make these letters, I amazed myself! It’s great to discover what I’m able of just by fearlessly trying!

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Write Carelessly. Now.

I was starting to get really proud of myself. But then it hit me. The last assignment. The terrifying words on the back of the book: Tape this journal closed and mail it to yourself. Why didn’t I think of this before? I can do the tasks in any order I want. I should have started with this one, when there was nothing to loose! What if I mail the journal and it doesn’t come back? Sure, I could buy a new book and start over, but I was just getting proud of what I had accomplished. But my goal states to complete all the tasks in the book. ALL of them. I reckoned I’d better do this perilous mission right now, before there would be any more beautiful pages to loose. So I taped the journal and I taped it well.

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Tape this journal closed and mail it to yourself. Front.

Tanya's 101 - Wreck this Journal / Tape this journal closed and mail it to yourself. Back.

I decided to send it the day before my birthday. What a great gift it would be to hear my journal fall on the doormat! When I left the post office, I literally felt nauseous. What if I wouldn’t see my journal back again?

When I heard the mailman on my birthday, obviously I ran into the hallway very excitedly. I saw some random letters (not even a birthday card, what is that these days?), but no journal… A terrible fear struck me. Did this nightmare actually happen? Would it be… lost? With trembling feet I walked back into the living room. I tried to convince myself it would probably come the next day, when suddenly I heard a thud in the hallway. I ran back and there it was, as if it had never been gone. Either the mailman had forgotten this book when he first came to my door, or he has a dark sense of humor. I emitted a sigh of relief. It wasn’t even wrecked very much. Two pieces of tape in the corners had come off, that was all.

So I was able to start wrecking again! And I did. But I will save those pages for a later post. If any of you also is also creating a Wreck this journal, be sure to mention it in the comments. I’d love to see what you did with the pages!

xx
Tanya de Kruijff on sabyoutubeTanya de Kruijff on sabtwitterTanya de Kruijff on sabpinterestTanya de Kruijff on sabinstagram
Tanya de Kruijff
Hello there! I’m Tanya, writer, translator and blogger. I am doing 101 goals in 1001 days, because I want to turn my dreams into reality. I hope my goals will inspire you to live your life to the fullest as well!

Besides this blog I also write short stories, columns, plays, video scripts, subtitles and so much more. If you’d be interested in hiring me to write for you, please check out Typisch Tanya. If you’d like to read my stories, you can visit me on Tanya’s tales.

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6 Comments on "Wreck this journal!"

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keelzucht
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2 years 6 months ago

The eulogies!!! <33333

Fiona Kirkwood
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Fiona Kirkwood
2 years 6 days ago

Love your blog xx must try some of these and get over the fear of the perfectionist xx lol

catchingcodyk
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catchingcodyk
2 years 6 days ago

It sounds like your well on your way to letting your perfectionist loose it’s edge. YAY! And I am serisously impressed with the dead bug page. It’s very pretty and not at all that disturbing. Can’t wait to see what else you can do.

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