I am an introvert person. This doesn’t mean I am always shy and silent. On the contrary. I can be very talkative and outgoing. Introvert doesn’t equal boring. What it does mean though, is that I love my me time and that I love to have conversations with just my own thoughts. It also means that I only tend to speak up when I really feel my words will be meaningful. If I don’t believe I am adding something to this world, I will not speak. Very useful in my opinion. More people should try it.
The problem is that I am also an insecure person. I tend to believe my words are of little value more than I should. Who am I to tell someone what to do? Who am I to think I could spread some knowledge to this world? Who am I to speak up? Why would anybody listen, or take me seriously?
There you go, you’ve just met my greatest inner demon. In the past I have been painfully aware of this demon. I knew that most of my fears didn’t make sense, but somehow I couldn’t overcome them. Recently however, I realized I shouldn’t try to fight my inner demon with reason alone, but also by actually stepping out of my comfort zone. Oh, and by doing things for me instead of others. This blog for example, I didn’t start it because I thought the world would be interested in my goals. I started it because it would help me achieve them. Having people actually read about it is just a great bonus.
But back to the comfort zone. That’s not something you just decide to step out of when you wake up one morning, is it? So I decided to add a few goals that would force me to. One of them I completed today:
No. 39: Upload a video on YouTube (in English) in which I teach something I know a great deal about.
Everybody makes YouTube videos. Literally everybody. Even I did, years ago. Yes, I have some vids of me singing. Somehow that is something I feel comfortable doing. I know a lot of people would be terrified of letting people hear their singing voice, but this is something I did ever since I was a tiny little girl and I was always praised for doing so.
It’s talking about stuff that makes me nervous. I know I have a lot of knowledge about various subjects. Yet I always wonder who would ever want to listen to me spreading that knowledge. I even feel awkward calling it knowledge. I want to change that. I want to teach people stuff I know, just because I like talking about it. I want to feel confident that some people might actually be interested. And I can only ever experience that by doing, right?
So a couple of weeks ago I shot my video. And technically it’s not even something I know a great deal about. It’s a video of my very first pocket letter. I had never heard of pocket letters until two months ago. There’s a good chance you haven’t either. In short, a pocket letter is a plastic sleeve consisting of nine pockets, which you embellish pretty on the front and fill with goodies in the back. In the picture you see the backgrounds I chose for my pocket letter. If you’de like to see how it turned out, I’m afraid you’ll have to watch the video. Apparently I was too busy easing my nerves that I forgot to take some after pics. Sorry!
Although this was my first ever pocket letter, I still think it counts towards my goal. Because I have done a lot of scrapbooking in the past and I used that knowledge to create the lay-out of my pocket letter.
And to be honest, I was terrified when I hit the record button. In fact, I have started ten times over before I was actually brave enough to continue talking on camera. But I succeeded. I have completed the task and I had actually fun doing it! Once I really started, I never stopped talking. So sorry guys, the video is quite long. But I will share it anyway, since firstly I have promised some people this video would go online and secondly, this video marks a changing point in my life. I will not let myself held back by my inner demon anymore that tells me I have nothing to say to this world. I have stuff to say, so hello world, here I am!
So yeah, if there’s any chance you might be interested in this video ever so slightly, here it is: