Two days ago I was standing in line at the cash register of a thrift store, waiting to pay for some treasures I found. When the shop assistant scanned my stuff, she asked me: ‘How long until your baby arrives?’ My blood started boiling inside, but I tried to keep calm and replied: ‘I’m not pregnant. I’m just fat.’ I hoped this witty reply of mine would make her feel so embarrassed she wouldn’t dare say another thing. But instead, she started rambling: ‘Oh, but your belly really looks like there’s a baby in it! I really thought your were pregnant, because you definitely look that way! I thought you must have been seven months (!!!) into your pregnancy!’ I cast her an evil look and walked out of the store, wishing I could take off my one-day-old dress immediately and throw it into the next bin.
At times like these, it’s hard to maintain my healthy lifestyle. I mean, for the past few months I have been fighting to lose 8 kg and this women just comes around blurting that I look 7 months pregnant. What’s the use? I struggle, I fight, I even succeed, but other people still just see a fat woman standing in front of them. Because that’s the message they give you if you are not pregnant at all: ‘Hey girl, don’t you look fat!’ And to be honest, 111,5 kg or 103,5 kg: what’s the difference, really?
Well, it’s a freakin’ 8 kg, that’s the difference! And that’s a lot! That’s eight pineapples, that’s a fox-terrier, that’s an 8-month-old baby girl! Hey, wait a minute. I’m not getting a baby, instead I lost one! Try to deliver an 8-month-old kid yourself, Woman Behind The Counter!
Okay, you get my point, right? I tried to turn my anger into something useful. I tried to see the positive side. I was not going to give up this time. I was not letting her get me down by some stupid ignorant remark. I know what I have accomplished these past months and I’m awfully proud of it. People who know me don’t say these kinds of stupid stuff. They notice my weight loss, they compliment me on my struggle, they say I look nice in my new dress. So I’d better listen to them, than some stupid stranger, right?
While that may sound easy and logical, it still took some time for me to find back my strength. Let’s not forget, eating has always been my way of coping. So imagine the temptation of falling back into my old habits after a remark like this. But something kept me from grabbing a Mars bar after this situation. And that something was my list. And one goal in particularly:
No. 42 – Don’t eat sweet and salty snacks and sweet desserts for a month. Do this three times.
It just happened to be that I had only two more days to go before completing my second month! It would be stupid to give that up because a stranger made me feel bad, right? Another success was just waiting around the corner. So I didn’t budge. I stayed strong.
And after an angry rant on Facebook about this woman, I was able to go back being positive as well. I decided it would be the perfect moment to write this month’s selfie post. It was a chance for me to think about the good things surrounding me and to focus on the things I have achieved, regarding my weight. And you know what? It helped! I really felt better after writing down these things and sharing it with the world. And the month of no sweet and salty snacks? Totally nailed it!
I don’t know if I could have stayed strong if it weren’t for these goals. And to be honest, if it weren’t for you. Because it really keeps me on the right track, knowing that you will be there to read about my journey. It makes me so much more motivated to keep following the right track, as opposed to doing it only for myself. *MushyModeOn* So thank you for reading me! Thank you for supporting me! Thank you for helping me stay motivated and succeed! I really appreciate that! *MushyModeOff*
I might wait a few days before starting my third and last month of this goal. Next week I will have a theater camp weekend with Wow-Effect. Somehow I suspect them from bringing all kinds of delicious stuff to this weekend. I might even use the opportunity to bring something sweet myself. Or I’ll bake a quiche, I don’t know. Let’s just say I’d like to keep all options open for now. But I promise I won’t use this week as an excuse to start binge eating chocolate and ice cream. I’ll behave. Even if some wicked stranger crosses my path again. I’ll now have a perfectly good reply ready for them: this blog article.